So you think you might be ready to take the marriage plunge?Before
you jump into the biggest decision of your life, consider this ‘Are your
ready?’ checklist.
1. Is your relationship past the “I need to spend every second unclad
with you” stage? As great as that stage is, it is not how life goes. You
need to love your partner out of bed.
2. Are you over 25? Brain studies suggest that our brains are not
fully developed until we are 25 and thus our decision-making may be a
bit sluggish.
3. Have you really addressed the red flags in your relationship or
the ones that you have noticed in your partner? If not, it is time to do
that right this minute. Get your head out of the sand and address the
issues that may become bigger later. You are never going to find a
partner that doesn’t have a few red flags, so you have to decide if you
can live with the flags they have or not.
4. If you have addressed the red flags, are you willing to accept them
or are you thinking you can change your partner after you get
married? Take it from a marriage veteran: Getting married with the hopes
of changing your partner is doomed to fail! Either accept them as is or
end the relationship.
5. Have you talked about having children and religion? Will you have
children? If so, how many? How much time will you spend with extended
family? What role will they play in your lives? Religion? These are the
issues that often lead to arguments between couples.
6. Who will manage the bank accounts and other household
requirements? Will you share in both parenting duties as well as working
outside of the home duties? What if one of your careers requires a
move? Talking openly and honestly about them and not assuming you know
the answer will be crucial to future marital harmony.
7. Can you envision yourself walking hand in hand with this person
when you are over 60? Marriage, when done right, is a marathon and you
need to pace yourself. To stay together for the long haul you really
need to enjoy each other’s company.
8. Have you had a brutally honest conversation about s*x and
fidelity? Can you see being happy for the rest of your life having s*x
with just this one person? If not, can you have a conversation about
what needs to happen—either in the relationship or within yourself—for
that to be true?
9. Finally ask yourself what you value most in life and how you love
to spend your time. Will your potential partner support (or even be part
of) your dreams and goals? Giving up any major aspect of yourself in
order to make someone happy is a really awful idea and will ultimately
sever your relationship.
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